Today I awoke to the bright, morning sun piercing through my binds. I got out of my cozy bed and walked over to open them and saw Mt. Bachelor in the distance. The snow on the mountain was disappearing little by little everyday.
I walked down the creaky oak wood stairs to turn on the 1980's box television. The weatherman said today would be high 30s and no clouds- the first day above 20 degrees since November.
Stepping out of my house, I felt the cold air hit my face. The air didn't feel sharp like other days, which pierced your lungs every time you breathed in and caused a runny nose. But instead the air was a nice breeze that fills your lungs and refreshes your body. That was when I realized today would be a great day.
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ReplyDeleteDid the writer capture voice/techniques? The writer did capture techniques cause it made me picture the imagery.
what could the writer have done better?
the writer could've added more adjectives to describe the imagery and theme but overall good work.
I would annotate the article and break it down in pages to see what the techniques develop purpose.
The writer provided a lot of detail in this blog post to help the reader envision what the new environment the narrator is in. Overall, I think you should provide details about how the narrator is feeling at their new city.
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